My wealth lies more in the failures of my life than my successes. My wealth lies in people I have known and lost. My wealth lies in the pain and the heartache of living.My wealth lies in the memories of those moments of love that were given to me. And given by me. But my wealth also lies in letting those joyous moments and people go.My wealth lies in all those unfulfilled dreams. In all those longings that aroused my passions. My wealth lies in all the passions I have ever felt and expressed. And those not expressed.My wealth lies in every moment of guilt that I carry for actions done or imagined. That burden too is my wealth.My wealth lies in every breath that I have ever breathed. Each imbued with doubts and questions and hopes and dreams. And fears.All this wealth I bequeath to you. For you to squander to the winds..
M.L.PANDIA
Posted by pandia on 2008-12-12 at 09:24:24 comments(0)
Positive Thinking
Positive thinking is not a new concept, but in recent decades it has been increasingly gaining currency among the global populace. There is almost a consensus on the value of consciously cultivating positive thinking for individual health, happiness and success
A friend is undergoing surgery as I write this, but she chose not to let any of us know about it. When the news inadvertently reached a mutual friend who called her to commiserate, she was not enthusiastic. She agreed to disclose it only on the condition that we do not call her. She wanted some peace and quiet, she said. This might seem an attempt to bury her head in the sand. But I know my friend’s quiet courage and self-awareness too much to suspect this to be the motive. I figure that she wants to spare herself the concern, anxiety and false bonhomie all of us are bound to express. No matter how well meaning, such gestures are invariably fuelled by fear and dread, emotions that she could well do without.
It made me think of the negativity we load our lives with and how counter-productive it is. Take the US-Taliban confrontation. Whether we feel anger at the Americans or at Osama bin Laden, or sorrow at the meaningless deaths, first of the Americans and now of the helpless Afghans, we flood the situation with negativity. What is needed instead is a dispassionate acceptance of the situation and a single-minded intention to resolve it. The single-mindedness is the key. So one-pointed should our attention be that negativity simply has no place in the scheme of things. This state of positivity without an opposite is potent. Free of negating doubts or fears, one’s attention focuses unwaveringly on the subject of our intention, knowing fully well that what we intend will happen. In my friend’s case, for instance, where I would once be consumed by fear and call out to God in my helplessness, this state of positivity would indicate a steadfast intention for her healing. It may be accompanied by a prayer, but importantly, no longer in helplessness but with the calm self-possession of love. God shifts into the role of a helper and beloved friend rather than the omnipotent power He was earlier.
Surely this is the ground of all creation? The Upanishads reiterate that the Realized One can manifest anything he desires, simply by intending it. They also assert that this power of instant manifestation can only arise in one who has learnt to control his senses, overcome desire, fear and anger.
What is it like, this state of positivity? What kind of life would we lead when immersed in it? I think it is a state of concentrated energy, for we will be freed of all the negative thoughts that steal away our energy and dissipate our focus. It will be a quiet and still state of mind, with no conflict, for the latter is the direct result of negative thoughts. It would be a peaceful and happy state of mind, regardless of circumstances. Most of all, it would be a highly effective state of the mind, for it would zero in on what needs to be done and do it. It would also be a tremendous force for good.
No matter how hopeless or terrible the situation, the positive spirit will prevail, seeing the opportunities inherent in the situation and providing a beacon of hope for others around it. Serenely oblivious to the negative, it does not occur to him/her to falter or doubt, forging ahead regardless, confident in the ultimate good of things.
The corollary is that the positive individual is also a black hole for the negativity around him. In his presence, the negativity dissolves and dissipates, never to appear again.
How it is that negativity simply cannot touch such an individual? One could say that his energy is at a higher frequency than that of negativity, thereby shielding him from its influence. At the level of reconditioning, s/he would have bored through all that came between him and his blissful inner core. In other words, she would have transcended desire and freed herself of fear and anger.
What is the relationship such an individual has between her intention and surrender to God’s will? What if God does not want the peaceful resolution of the Afghan situation? I can only hazard a guess. The positivist operates from the stand that man proposes, God disposes. We never stop thinking positive, but we leave the outcome strictly in the hand of God, retaining with ourselves only the ability to see the positive in any outcome.
No belief is right or wrong. It is either empowering or limitingEver heard the story of the four-minute mile? For years people believed that it is impossible for a human being to run a mile in less than four minutes until Roger Banister proved it wrong in 1954. Within one year, 37 runners broke the belief barrier. And the year after that, 300 other runners did the same thing. What happens if you put an animal in a pond? Any animal, big or small, will swim its way through. What happens when someone, who does not know how to swim, falls in deep waters? You drown. If an animal who has not learned swimming could escape by swimming, why not you? Because you believe you will drown while the animal does not. You have used a computer keyboard or a typewriter. Ever wondered why the alphabets are organized in a particular order in your keyboard? You might have thought it is to increase the typing speed. Most people never question it. But the fact is that this system was developed to reduce the typing speed at a time when typewriter parts would jam if the operator typed too fast. These three cases show the power of our beliefs. There is no other more powerful directing force in human behavior than belief. Your beliefs have the power to create and to destroy. A belief delivers a direct command to your nervous system. Have you heard about the placebo effect? People who are told a drug will have a certain effect will many times experience that effect even when given a pill without those properties.
I use a snake in my workshops for children to show them how unrealistic some of their beliefs are. Students of a school in New Delhi, India , said snakes are slippery, slimy and poisonous. After doing an exercise for changing beliefs, they handled my snake and found it to be dry and clean. They also remembered that only three types of poisonous snakes exist in India . Have you ever scanned the ‘to-let’ advertisements in newspapers? Many say ‘South Indians preferred’. Why? Many house owners told me that it is easier to get South Indians to vacate. The belief was that South Indians do not have the guts to fight. Now you figure out the impact of LTTE supremo Prabhakaran and Southern sandalwood smuggler Veerappan in changing this belief! It is also our belief that determines how much of our potential we will be able to tap. So you better examine some of your beliefs minutely. For example, do you believe that you can excel in whatever you do? Do you believe you are bad in mathematics? Do you believe that other people don’t like you? Do you believe life is full of problems? What are your beliefs about people? No belief is right or wrong. It is either empowering or limiting. A belief is nothing but the generalization of a past incident. As a kid if a dog bit you, you believed all dogs to be dangerous. To change a particular behavior pattern, identify the beliefs associated with it. Change those beliefs and a new pattern is automatically created. I read this incident in a New York newspaper. “She met him in a singles’ bar and they talked for a while. He offered her a drink and she enjoyed his company. Then he offered to drop her back home. While driving back, she realized that they were moving through narrow and strange roads. ‘Oh God where is he taking me?’ she thought but did not have the guts to ask. She cursed her decision to get into his car. All of a sudden she saw him taking a turn back into the highway just near her house. Smiling, he said: ‘I took a short cut’.” Did this story end the way you thought? Review your beliefs now and find out which ones are empowering and which ones you need to change.
M.L.PANDIA
Posted by pandia on 2008-12-12 at 09:22:45 comments(0)
Short Story With A Beautiful Message…
Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,’Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.’The little girl said, ‘No, Dad. You hold my hand.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ the puzzled father Asked.
‘There’s a big difference,’ replied the little girl. ‘If I hold your hand and something happens to me,chances are that I may let your hand go.But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,you will never let my hand go.’ In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours… This message is too short……but carries a lot of Feelings.
M.L.PANDIA
Posted by pandia on 2008-12-12 at 09:19:24 comments(0)
Words Of Wisdom
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully Memorize your favorite poemDon’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you wantWhen you say, “I love you”, mean itWhen you say, “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eyeBe engaged at least six months before you get marriedBelieve in love at first sightNever laugh at anyone’s dreamsLove deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completelyin disagreements, fight fairly. No name callingdon’t judge people by their relatives. “NO KIDDING”Talk slow but think quickwhen someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”Remember that great love and great achievements involve great riskCall your momSay “bless you” when you hear someone sneezeWhen you lose, don’t lose the lessonRemember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actionsDon’t let a little dispute injure a great friendshipWhen you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct itSmile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voiceMarry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, his/her conversational skillswill be as important as any otherSpend some time aloneOpen your arms to change, but don’t let go of your valuesRemember that silence is sometimes the best answerRead more books and watch less TVLive a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll get to enjoy it a second timeTrust in God but lock your cara loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious homein disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation? Don’t bring up the pastRead between the linesShare your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortalitybe gentle with the earthPray. There’s immeasurable power in itNever interrupt when you are being flatteredMind your own businessDon’t trust a man/woman who doesn’t close his/her eyes when you kiss themOnce a year, go someplace you’ve never been beforeIf you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfactionRemember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luckLearn the rules then break someRemember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each otherJudge your success by what you had to give up in order to get itRemember that your character is your destinyApproach love and cooking with reckless abandon
M.L.PANDIA
